Thursday, May 14, 2009
I guess it's no longer true that I don't feel my mother with me.
Tonight, I feel her here with me as strongly as if she were sitting in her rocker, leafing through her tabloids, turning to chat with me now and then, or respond to something I mention to her...
...I'm sitting on the floor working on my computer, a warm cup of decaf spiced with a dash of rum, a couple dashes of pungent pumpkin pie spice and cream instead of half & half to give it that "toddy" feel...
...she's sipping on a cup of cocoa which she refused earlier in the evening with a dismissive, "It's too sweet," but, now, it's the witching hour, 0300, we should both have been long in bed but we're not, it's a good time for cocoa...
....she leans toward me, smiling slyly, and says, "Now, if our neighbors across the street get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, glance out their window and see our lights blazing at this hour, they'll think..."
"...we're having a party!" I quickly interject...
...she chuckles and winks at me. "Aren't we?!?"...
..."We must be," I agree, "why else would we be up at three in the morning?!?"
..."You know," she says, turning to gaze out the cathedral windows, "I don't know why, I've always loved this time of night..."
..."So have I," I say...before I continue typing...
...ah, I miss you, Mom, you're here, I can feel you, you're presence is making me smile, and I miss you, and you're here, and I miss you...
Note: This post was originally published over at The Mom & Me Journals dot Net in my three am bleary minded stupor. It belongs here. I intended it to be here. So, I'm duplicating it here.
...I'm sitting on the floor working on my computer, a warm cup of decaf spiced with a dash of rum, a couple dashes of pungent pumpkin pie spice and cream instead of half & half to give it that "toddy" feel...
...she's sipping on a cup of cocoa which she refused earlier in the evening with a dismissive, "It's too sweet," but, now, it's the witching hour, 0300, we should both have been long in bed but we're not, it's a good time for cocoa...
....she leans toward me, smiling slyly, and says, "Now, if our neighbors across the street get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, glance out their window and see our lights blazing at this hour, they'll think..."
"...we're having a party!" I quickly interject...
...she chuckles and winks at me. "Aren't we?!?"...
..."We must be," I agree, "why else would we be up at three in the morning?!?"
..."You know," she says, turning to gaze out the cathedral windows, "I don't know why, I've always loved this time of night..."
..."So have I," I say...before I continue typing...
...ah, I miss you, Mom, you're here, I can feel you, you're presence is making me smile, and I miss you, and you're here, and I miss you...
Note: This post was originally published over at The Mom & Me Journals dot Net in my three am bleary minded stupor. It belongs here. I intended it to be here. So, I'm duplicating it here.
Labels: Longing
